If you’re a Star Trek fan, you’re probably trying to figure out what the heck I mean, since I do not have tubes coming out of my head, nor do I wear a skin tight leather suit.
And if you’re not a Trekkie, well, I’ll try to explain briefly.
In the movie First Contact, Data (an android serving on the Enterprise) is captured and meets a very bizarre Borg. Normally, the Borgs operate only as a collective. They take all of their orders from the hive mind. They treat individuality as a disease. (I had to ask my husband if it would be petty to compare the Borgs to Democrats… but we both simultaneously came to the conclusion that that would be unfair to the Borg. The Borg are at least efficient.) They are very sinister and assimilate every person and race they come across, taking whatever is useful and adding it to their knowledge… but the individual ceases to exist as an individual.
Anyways, Data is introduced to a very different Borg. She talks to him as an individual; Borg aren’t supposed to say “I”.
“Who are you?” asks Data.
“I bring order to chaos…” replies the smooth, sinister voice of the Borg Queen.
Yep, that’s me.
And there’s usually a lot of chaos in my house.
Today, we went to Home Depot and the grocery store. Did laundry. Got oldest to sit still to do math test. I started teaching my oldest to weave (I suggested a simple little scarf for a first project. She insisted on a little blanket for her animals. She is her mother’s daughter.). I read stories. I kept everyone fed. Got the younger two down for naps (“No na’! [that’s “no nap”] Momma, no na’!” cried the youngest, but not very convincingly). I clipped gigantic holly bushes back to a reasonable size, filling two bags with clippings from four bushes. I killed poison ivy. I monitored chalk decorating of the entire driveway (no fights, noone got hit by a car… it was a good afternoon). Started installing new shelves in the laundry room. Fed everyone again (good grief, do we really need three meals a day?). Put kids to bed. Finished shelves, reorganized various boxes of coffee, croutons, cereal, Ziplock bags, laundry detergent. Wiped up dust bunnies from under the freezer and washing machine. Then cleaned the garage, because I had to get tools out and put tools back… and the garage was getting messy. Swept garage. Found on a back shelf and put out various garden amendments (kelp meal and fish emulsion) to remember to apply tomorrow. Glued loose cross-bracing back into dining room chairs. Reorganized kitchen cabinet, starting with removing coffee boxes to new shelving. Got husband to sign birthday card for his sister. Ran dryer. Ran dishwasher. Still need to make the bed and fold laundry. Have to put off reorganizing canning supplies and the cabinet they were in until tomorrow.
The laundry room is more organized. The kitchen is more organized. The garage is clean and organized. The holly bushes are getting organized. Order from chaos.
One night, some years ago, my husband was relaxing by watching TV, and I was “relaxing” by whirling through the house, straightening up and getting things done.
“What are you doing?!” he asked, as I disturbed his TV viewing with some noisy task or other.
“I’m making order from chaos,” I replied.
He paused, looked at me kinda funny, and said that he wasn’t sure if he should be worried that he married the Borg Queen or just accept that that would explain a lot.
Just accept that you’ve been assimilated, dear, and stay out of my way when I’m imposing order on chaos.