7 Quick Takes Friday: Homeschooler Conference

I was going to try to write this last week, half-way through the IHM Homeschooler Conference in Washington, DC, but the last talk finished after 9pm, I’d been up since a time of morning I’d rather forget, and I still needed a shower.  So, instead, I’ll post this as a summary of the homeschooler conference I’ll call:

Why the Homeschooler Conference Was So Wonderful

1.  Two days without the kids.  Yes, I love my kids; that’s why I homeschool, although the kids may think I’m doing it to torment them.  (“Oh, look, lightpoles!  Let’s count them by two’s…  What letter does ‘lightpole’ start with?  Come on, sound it out.”)  But, once in a while, it’s nice to love them from a distance.  Although I’m not sure how much distance is involved when the whole purpose of the weekend was to improve their schooling.

2.  The vendors’ area.  Our state homeschooler association ran a cartoon in their e-newsletter with an awed mom in a denim jumper asking, “Is this heaven?” as she surveyed the curriculum fair.  I’d view it more as purgatory (not an option, to be fair, for our state homeschooler association- it’s of a definitely evangelical Protestant bent).  But I did get almost all of my curriculum shopping done, partially just because I was so overloaded I said, “Sure, [flip, flip] that looks good.  And one of those, no I don’t need the new edition, and I have the text but need the workbooks for that…  That’ll be how much?!”

3.  Seeing people in person you usually only see on TV or hear on tape.  Very weird.  Yes, that’s Raymond Arroyo, the anchor for EWTN’s weekly news program The World Over.  I felt like I should hold up my fingers to put his face in a frame; I’m used to seeing him on TV.

4.  Getting books autographed.  This one’s very funny for me; I am so not a groupie/hero worship/fan type of person.  I may like someone’s work, even admire it, but I figure they’re really too busy to want to talk to every single person who can say, “Oh, I read your book, can I talk your ear off?”  Actually, everyone was incredibly personable.

• Dr. Ray Guarendi briefly discussed the prevalent attitudes in adoption literature with me.
• Prof. Joseph Pearce took the time to discuss his book-writing schedule as if I was the only person in line (new book from him focusing on the Catholicism of the Lord of the Rings in 2012 or so; he’s otherwise committed until then).  In the meantime, I wrote a post on his talk of the same subject.
• Dale Ahlquist signed a copy of his critical edition of G.K. Chesterton’s epic poem Lepanto with a self-depreciating smile and, “There; now it isn’t worth anything!”
• Susie Lloyd was very sweet.  (and if you haven’t read her hilarious first book of essays Don’t Drink the Holy Water: Homeschool days, rosary nights, and other near occasions of sin, I’d highly recommend it.  I’ve only just started her new one, Forgive Me Father, For I Have Kids, but she said she thought it was even funnier.  Both books are available over here.)

5.  Discipline encouragement.  Virginia Seuffert, mother of twelve, grandmother of several more, talked about order and discipline in the home, focusing around the themes of why we homeschool.  Dr. Ray Guarendi, child psychologist and father of ten adopted, homeschooled children, talked about discipline, homeschooling, and the culture.  (I also discussed his new book on adoption in my post on his talks.)  When you spend so much time going against the grain (often to the chagrin of your family, parish, pediatricians, random store clerks who obviously know better, etc.), it is a relief to sit down and be surrounded by people fighting the same battles.

6.  Homeschooling encouragement.  The ones I would place in this category also fell into the discipline category, while others fell into this and spiritual encouragement.  Why do we homeschool?  Why bother?  Because Truth matters.  Truth is freeing; “there is no truth” creates only a shallow swamp of a culture.  I especially liked Prof. Joseph Pearce’s talk “A Matter of Life and Death: The Battle for a True Education.”  (Summed up here.)  Dale Ahlquist’s talk on G.K. Chesterton covered some of the same ideas.  (Sorry, but I’m behind: I’d meant to have all the talk summaries done by now, but the Ahlquist/Chesterton post will be coming later this weekend.  Check back later.)  To sum up this point, I offer the ever-quotable Chesterton, himself an adult convert to Catholicism, and once required reading in almost every English-speaking university:

The Catholic Church is the only thing that saves a man from the degrading slavery of being a child of his age.

7.  Feeling “normal” for once.  I have never seen so many fourteen-passenger vans, pregnant women, and pro-life bumper stickers in one place.  I can’t get pregnant and my three kids still fit in a minivan, but I still felt like I belonged a lot more than I usually do out in public.  And I just loved this license plate.  I nearly passed it up, wondering what people would think of the weirdo taking photos of someone’s plates, but decided I had to get a photo for the DH:

 (That’s short for Benedict the Sixteenth, i.e. the current pope, fondly referred to as B16 in some circles.)

As always, click on the giant post-it at the top to visit Jen at Conversion Diary for everyone else’s 7 Quick Takes Friday.

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Homeschool Conference: Virginia Seuffert

Just looking at the title of her first talk, “How to Make Homeschooling Easy”, made me roll my eyes.  Oh, heavens, not another one of those people: all jeans jumpers, daily mass, never miss a family rosary, all our kids are two grades ahead and want to be priests or nuns, life is always just wonderful, sure homeschooling can be stressful- but only because you must not be doing it right!

In spite of my misgivings, I attended her talk.  Partially because I had even less interest in the other speaker in that time slot, partially because I figured she would have some good ideas anyways, even if I didn’t agree with her overall views.  I wound up being very glad I went.

The guy in charge of that speaker room introduced her, finishing with the mandatory, “Please stand and welcome our speaker…” (Catholic habit, I think; that’s the habitual verbage for the beginning of mass, fitting in right after “Please silence your cell phones,” and right before the hymnal number for the opening song.  Most speakers looked a little perplexed and/or amused at a standing ovation before the speech.)

The first words out of her mouth were something along the lines of, “That’s a typo.  You can’t make homeschooling easy.  Maybe easier, but not easy.  If you really wanted easy, go ahead and go listen to Father’s talk over in speaker room #2.  I’ll wait while you leave.”

She then organized the talk around the premise that a) you need to keep homeschooling simple and doable: “The best homeschooling is the stuff you do.”  If you have piles of great ideas, enrichment activities, Latin and Greek, etc. but don’t get any of it done, then scale back to what you can really do.  And b) you need to remember why you’re doing it.  Although, as she pointed out, “It’s June; right now, most of you are so numb, you don’t remember what you had for breakfast, let alone why you’re doing [homeschooling]!”

Everyone is going to have slightly different lists of “Why we homeschool”, but Seuffert suggested these:

• 1.  Make saints- we already have too many smart, sinful Catholics.
• 2.  Raise responsible citizens- The U.S. is good; let’s make it better.
• 3.  Have a peaceful, serene, loving Christian home.
• 4.  Teach better than institutional schools.
• 5.  Be good stewards of our children- health, fitness, talents, travel.

Then, she broke it down by reason.  (Yes, I’m not discussing all of them.  Go get the tapes if you want the whole talk.)

1.  If you live twenty minutes from church, and it takes you fifteen minutes to get the kids loaded up, then daily mass may take up half your morning and it might not be a workable idea for you.  Instead, make a spiritual communion.

My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.  I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul.  Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You.  Never permit me to be separated from You.  Amen.

Also, she recommended a daily offering.  Here is one sample from Catholic Online:

O Jesus, through the immaculate heart of Mary, I offer you my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day in union with the holy sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world. I offer them for all the intentions of your sacred heart: the salvation of souls, reparation for sin, the reunion of all Christians. I offer them for the intentions of our bishops and of all the apostles of prayer, and in particular for those recom- mended by our Holy Father this month.

As homeschoolers, we can (and have to) constantly and patiently correct our children; no teacher can do it like we can.  We need to “patiently bear daily contradictions” and offer them up.  (Yeah, I get a lot of contradictions: “But, Mo-ooom!”)

4.  She encouraged parents to choose parent-friendly materials, stuff that isn’t just “everyone says this is best”, but materials that make the parents’ job easier.  Avoid trends, and use Catholic materials where possible (especially in science and history).  Seuffert also suggested that parents “get the book and be happy with it.”  If you don’t like it by the end of the year, pick something different next year, but avoid jumping around curriculums during the year.

 

After enjoying her first talk, I made sure I made it to her second talk, “Discipline.”  Some of it was about discipline, but it also blended into order in the home, which, of course, has something to do with order in the child’s mind.  Short, sweet summary:

• Homeschooling is the start of discipline; a teacher is not a discipline solution.
• Have an actual, posted schedule.  She recommended A Mother’s Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot.  I’ve read it; I didn’t do everything she suggested, but it is a great book.
• Get up half an hour before the kids: pray, read the paper, have a solid thought.  (At least one thought, longer than three seconds, without interruption.)
• Start school at the same time every day.  Give each child something to do so that, even if you’re changing a diaper or doing laundry, they can start on time.
• End by 3pm, get kids outside or something, play with the baby.
• Give the children real work to do, not just busy work.  (I’ll vouch that that works well for Diva; she grouses about it, but she winds up happier after she’s done.)
• Put the kids to bed at the same time every night.

(Amusing anecdote on the bedtime question.  Seuffert’s husband works irregular hours and sometimes gets home close to the kids’ bedtime.  He’ll object, “Oh, but I didn’t see them all day…”  Yeah, she replied, well I did; I’ve seen a lot of them all day.  It’s time for, “I love you, and I’m ready to love you from a distance now…”)

 

I’m not going to give away all her points; part of my point is to give the highlights, give homeschoolers some ideas to chew on that I found thought-provoking, and point you to the website to get tapes if you want more info.

But I will end with a quote that has probably made me a permanent fan of Ginny Seuffert, because I secretly suspected that I was the only *awful* mommy who said things like this.  On naptime, especially for older children: “I don’t care if you’re tired.  Go do something quiet… and out of my line of vision!”

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